To update on this wonderful working day in Longford I have a riddle for you (and the answer too):

Q: How many kids clad in “designer” track-suits does it take to set up a bebo account?

A: Five, and they wrecked my head every step of the way.

I’m actually surprised at how difficult it was for them to read the basic instructions, pretty dismal if they can’t actually read.  On top of it all no feckin manners. I hate being a desk monkey.

On another note, people are scum. It’s my job to keep an general eye on what’s going on in the Café, make sure people arn’t looking up porn, keep the place tidy etc.. so on a ramble just tidying, keeping a general eye, there’s a guy looking at an escort site taking down numbers. I personally don’t approve of whoresites, but there’s no policy against it, short of dodgy pics, he gets a call and directs someone to where the shop is.

So ten minutes pass, he’s off the site at this point (can see his screen from the desk), and in wanders his wife and kids. Was disgusted, it’s one thing for some guy perving, but a married guy with kids, c’mon. Maybe himself and the wife are into that sort of stuff, but I doubt it.

So here I am in work, just working away fixing a laptop at the desk (I work in an Internet Café), when I get a phone call, a guy calling to ask if I’ll get him a number off a website.

Normally I wouldn’t do this, if you’re not willing to come in and pay to use the computers why should I? But I’m in a relatively good mood, so I say, feck it why not. I ask him the site address, not gonna post it obviously, turns out it’s a feckin Irish escort site, then he blurbs out, “just give me the number of any of the girls there”. Jesus feckin Christ, who the hell rings up a random Internet Café looking for escort numbers??? Of course I didn’t give him any number, I don’t think it was a prank call either, as there was no laughing.

Not as strange as the guy who asked me to look up womens knickers before. I love my customers.

Ok so I wrote this rant years and it still holds true to this day, people never learn. I need content and I’m a bit on the hughover side (fun last night :D) so this is a copy and paste from my bebo page written over a year and a half ago.

As the title says how not to piss me off in work (this is not directed at friends but is more of a rant than anything).

1) Don’t complain about the price of things after you’ve used a non-essential service, i.e. an Internet Café. No the price shouldn’t be what you think it should be, the price is what it’s displayed ON THE PRICE LIST, the same thing you checked when you came in!

2) Wait your bloody turn, I can only do one thing at a time. Don’t demand that I go help you especially when i’m busy with another customer.

3) Please don’t try to argue that after an hour you couldn’t log into your email and therefore you shoudln’t have to pay, no matter how many times you shout or raise your voice.

4) When wearing headphones try and remember that you don’t have to shout when talking to the person next to you.

5) Just because I work in an Internet Cafe doesn’t mean it’s ok to wander off the street and ask me what is the best broadband provider, how much they charge and what speeds they have. Do you walk into a shoe shop and ask who their supplier is and how much they charge? I thought not.
I have no problem giving advice to people I have seen at least once or twice before but not just random people.

6) Nobody wants to hear your music. Especially from a mile away, if ya want to go deaf you’re on the way. They’re personal music players, I do not want to hear your thumping dance music, I get enough of it from the passing cars. And what the hell is with that squeaky voice dance crap?

7) Pen + Monitor + Idiot = Angry Rob

Chairs are for sitting on oddly enough. Balancing on one leg is fantastic, until you fall over and try to claim for being an idiot. (The braindamage was there before they fell over, I swear.)

9) I am not a low cost babysitter. Don’t even think about leaving your kids here unattended, while you go off shoe shopping. I’ll call the social welfare people.

10) Last but not least, do you think it’s acceptable to be looking up porn in a public place? Well here’s a hint, it isn’t.

This has been an AngryBob Industries PSA